


Life Eternal

by lucifersthelightoftheworld



Category: Ghost (Sweden Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-08-10 23:19:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16464242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucifersthelightoftheworld/pseuds/lucifersthelightoftheworld
Summary: A typical lovers-turned-exes-turned-lovers again (maybe...?) story. I’m awful at summaries.





	1. I.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, Ghouls and Ghoulettes! So this is my first full fanfiction since, like... ten years or so... so please be gentle and patient with me! Sorry that this first chapter is a bit short, I'm just excited to get this out already! Of course as a disclaimer, I do not own Ghost or any things related to them, this is all a work of fiction. Things may not be exactly accurate to their history, but I'm doing my best and hey, it's a story so I can do with it as I please. Since I come from the roleplay world, I also want to add that I have a specific person in mind for what Olivia looks like: the lovely Mimmi, a.k.a. thistlemilk on Instagram! That way you guys have a face to put her to, or you can imagine her as you'd like. I always appreciate feedback and kudos and positive comments alike. Thank you to Haz for beta-ing and believing in my work. Enjoy, everyone!

"Olivia... Olivia? Liv... yo, jerkface!" The very annoying, but unforgettable voice of my brother echoed through my ears, bringing me out of the deepest sleep I've gotten in the last month. I peeked one of my eyes open, my brows furrowed in annoyance and sensitivity to the sunlight as I gazed up at the figure towering above me. "It's way past ten. We have to get to the venue soon or we're not going to have much time to prepare. This is a big fuckin' deal and you're not doing your job very well by spending time moping in bed." 

"Ugh... I know that, Simon. Give me five minutes and I'll be ready to go. I promise. Tell the others that, too." I spoke to my older brother, barely recognizing my voice as it came out very husky and dry with sleep. Simon wasn't wrong, I had been moping in this hotel bed since the moment we arrived; the combination of rushing to the airport, almost missing the flight, traveling on zero sleep, barely eating (besides feeding my insatiable coffee addiction), and coming to the realization that I'd be around my ex-boyfriend again... it was all too much. Of course my own goddamn brother had to play in a band with my ex-boyfriend. Of course. 

With a simple nod, Simon left me and quietly shut the door behind him. I rubbed my eyes and sighed, forcing myself out of the comfy sheets and pillows and onto the cold, unwelcoming floor. I made my way over to the bathroom, flipping the switch and letting the unflattering light fill the room. My reflection in the mirror was not so pleasant -- messy black locks, red-rimmed eyes, chapped lips, broken girl. I managed to tear away from my own judgmental stare to quickly wash my face, apply my skincare, brush my teeth, and throw my hair up into a messy bun. Once I was back in the room, I threw a Mayhem hoodie over my sleep shirt, pulled on some leggings and my Vans, and my glasses (I didn't think my tired eyes could handle contacts at the moment). After my brain fog cleared, I realized that once we got everything settled for the show, I could come back and truly get ready, to help make myself not feel so disgusting... and maybe to rub it in my ex's face what he was missing. I'm sure my current appearance would ruin that illusion -- but it wasn't like he hadn't seen me at my worst before.

Simon and our longtime friend and his bandmate Martin were waiting outside my hotel room for me, chatting in our native Swedish language about some technical shit I only understood parts of. "Finally, she rises from the dead!" Martin teased, his bright eyes that my own brown ones envied sparkling as he laughed and gently tapped me on the shoulder with his knuckles. A light smirk managed to creep its way onto my face in response, reaching over to squeeze his arm gently before we all started walking down the hallway and towards the elevator. 

"Where is everyone else?" I asked, clearing my throat afterwards as I realized I hadn't quite rid myself of my "sleep voice."

"Oh, they've been at the venue since, like, half past nine. So not much before us, but..." Simon responded plainly, although I could hear the annoyance in his voice. I shot him a quick glare and then looked forward, stepping into the elevator as it opened. We piled in as the two continued to banter on about the show later. 

This particular was huge for the band, their first show in the United States at the Maryland Deathfest in Baltimore. Simon had informed me of it about a week before the date, questioning me tentatively about hopping along to help them with selling some merch and general roadie jobs. I was extremely hesitant, and he knew exactly why... Tobias Forge. Tobias — lead of many bands (that I all did merch for in the past), brilliant genius, blue-eyed beauty, breaker of hearts (including mine). My boyfriend of ten years, ex for two. Ghost, his and the boys’ current project, had taken off after they decided to pursue something a little heavier than past projects, such as Subvision, but not as extreme as others, such as Repugnant (oh how I miss those days). They had already been setting aside some songs for said project since 2005, and once they came up with the idea of using characters and costumes for the act (along with making an insane backstory) , everything went uphill from there. One show was played in our home country and they were already scheduled to play in the States. I couldn’t believe it when Tobias called and told me, it was a dream come true for all of us. I was so proud of them, and still am... but things are much, much different now.

I snapped out of my thoughts the moment the elevator door opened, and I followed after Simon and Martin to a waiting cab outside the hotel. The ride was somewhat short, seeing as it was early morning and on a weekend, none of that morning rush bullshit. If the ride had been longer, my anxiety would've shot through the roof; somehow, I was keeping it together. The mere thought of facing Tobias was crippling. I knew that my heart would shatter and my eyes would threaten to leak a river of tears, but I knew I had to keep it together. I had a job to do today and I didn't want to be rude to the patrons of the festival, they didn't deserve that. None of the others in the band deserved that, either, so I knew I had to keep my shit together. 

Once we paid our cab fare, the three of us made our way to the entrance separating the street and the actual show's section. The stage was outside, sandwiched between two buildings; there were open bars surrounding each side, with the venue called Rams Head Live on one side where the larger bands were performing, and a children's science museum on the other (which was interesting, to say the least). The other venue which some bands were performing, Baltimore Soundstage, was right across the street. The set up was interesting, but they had so many bands they needed to accommodate so it made sense. As I took everything in so I knew exactly where each place was, Simon gently put his hand on my shoulder and I turned to gaze where he was pointing. "Our merch tent is right there. Nothing's set up just yet if you're up for starting now. I'll be over to help you soon." I gave my brother a nod and soft smile, to which he kissed the side of my head as he pulled me into a side hug. "Thank you again, Liv. This means more than you know." With that, Simon pulled from me and walked away, Martin waiting for him in the distance before they joined each other and headed into one of the buildings. 

I made my way over to where their merch booth was set up, a table with two chairs lined up in the front, a board to hang up shirts behind it; I looked under the table and saw some outlets, which made me sigh of relief, glad that I didn't need to go and buy a portable battery for my phone. Making my way around the other side of the table, I adjusted my glasses and opened one of the boxes to start tacking the shirts to the board. I got a few up and stopped to stretch my arms, then bent down to grab another. As I started to rise up from my bent position, I heard a familiar voice, which made me freeze in place for a good moment. 

"... Care for a cup of coffee? You like you need one."


	2. II.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, Ghouls and Ghoulettes! Sorry this took me so long to update — almost a month — but here I am with the second chapter! I’m not super happy with it, the writer’s block is real... but here we go! Big thanks to Haz for beta-ing, as usual. <3

I stood there frozen for a good moment, that voice still ringing throughout my ears. That smooth, gorgeous voice that I knew all too well; I knew it in English and Swedish and in all categories of words, clean and dirty, simple and intricate. My head made a slow turn, parallel to my right shoulder, blinking a few times and letting out a soft sigh before completely facing the source of that voice. 

The moment I turned, my heart sank but my stomach did flips. The mere sight of Tobias standing there just about had me: two cups of 7-11 coffee in his hands, that leather jacket fitting him so perfectly, that sheepish smile on his face and muted glimmer in his eyes. Those eyes that I knew so well and could tell me things without words being spoken, and vice versa; he could read me like an open book and know the story back to back. Another sigh left me as I pushed my glasses back up my nose, reaching out with a slightly shaking hand as Tobias’s extended as well, handing me one of the warm cups. “Thanks,” I replied softly, looking down at the coffee before taking a small sip. Fuck. He still knew exactly how I like my coffee, too: black hazelnut with two sugars. 

“You’re welcome. Uh... I wanna thank you again for coming out to help us, Liv. It really means a lot to me — to us. I’m sure everyone else has told you that already, but...” Tobias shrugged shortly, a half-smile twitching at the side of his mouth before taking a sip of his own coffee. 

“It’s no problem, Tobias, really. I mean... despite everything, I still support you, and I support Simon and our friends, so... I want to help out. I feel like we can be adults about this enough to avoid tension for a few days.” My words were honest, except I was hurting deep down. This was a lot harder than I expected, but I had to lie and take it. I had to be professional, my feelings were a minuscule issue compared to the boys’ dreams of making it big... right? 

Another smile went across Tobias’ face, but it seemed a little unsure. Was he catching onto my tone of voice? I was absolutely sure he was. Again, he knew me better than anyone, sometimes more than I knew myself. “Yeah, I agree. We’ve been through a lot of ups and downs together, huh? Although this may be a little different...” Tobias trailed off, clearing his throat and then straightening his posture a bit. “Anyways, I’ve gotta go and take care of some shit, Mauro’s been texting me nonstop... but I wanted to get us coffee. Knew you needed it.” With that, the man gave me a wave and walked off, head down as he raised his phone to his ear. 

Once Tobias disappeared behind the stage, my body released all its tension and I flopped down into the chair behind me, careful to not spill my coffee in the process. “Fuck...” I said under my breath, shaking my head and closing my eyes. “This is already too much, too much,” I continued to myself, standing up again and going back to what I was doing before. Tacking up the few shirts only took a minute, and I moved each box underneath where the shirts were displayed above so it was easy for me to grab them. The CD and a few stickers got to be on display on the table, and I stopped myself from reorganizing them for the tenth time before deeming everything perfect. I was anxiously awaiting for things to start already, wanting to get this over with and go home, but we had a ways to go before the day was done. 

Despite wanting to sit at the merch table and do nothing until the doors opened, I decided to go back to the hotel to freshen up and make myself look presentable; the “just rolled out of bed” look wasn’t exactly going to get us any business, and I just wanted to feel a little better about myself. I immediately got in the shower after throwing on some music, cleansing myself of all the ickiness from my restless sleep from earlier. Once I was out, l let my hair dry in a towel as I did my minimal makeup, adding an ox-blood red lip as the finishing touch. I dried my hair and then got dressed, choosing a long-sleeve black crop top, high-waisted black drop-crotch pants, and my black sneakers (since I knew I was going to be on my feet all day and night, I chose comfort over style). I added my necklaces and rings, changed my earrings, then decided I was ready after a spray of my perfume. It smelled just like firewood but slightly sweeter, my signature scent. ‘Maybe that would catch Tobias’s attention, he knows that smell all too well... not that I care,’ I thought to myself, rolling my eyes and shrugging on my black duster. I grabbed everything I needed and let my hotel room once again, mentally preparing myself for the rush of people and all the amazing, loud metal that would be flowing through the air.

The first couple of hours of Deathfest were surprisingly easy. I sold a few CDs, despite the people not even knowing who Ghost was but were excited to hear a new band, loved the imagery, or just maybe felt bad for a “starting” band. As more and more bands played, time ticked by, and soon it was time for Ghost to go on. I managed to grab someone from the venue to watch the merch table while I got up to see the show, after talking myself in and out of the idea and then finally gave up. Even if it was hard watching Tobias up there, I wanted to support my brother and our friends; they’d also be in their costumes, so it would be a little easier to enjoy the show. 

I stood near the side entrance of the stage, not wanting to stand on the side of the stage so I could see the whole thing. Their opening music started, an organ-central song they called “Deus Culpa,” and it got the crowd excited. I felt a flip in my stomach, getting excited as well; this was a big fucking deal for the guys, so I couldn’t stop myself from grinning like an idiot. Once they all came on stage, the guys dressed in their Nameless Ghouls garb, and Tobias in his Papa Emeritus robe and what not, everyone went insane. They kicked into “Con Clavi Con Dio” and the crowd was really getting into it. I took out my phone and started taking pictures, unable to contain myself; the show was too entertaining and my heart was soaring for the men up there. They left the stage after a few songs, not getting a full set but still playing their best (in my opinion, at least). I made my way through the crowd to get back to the merch table to see a huge line formed in front, which made me grin like an idiot once more. I got behind the table and started slinging merch left and right, eventually selling out of the CDs halfway but giving out Ghost’s business cards for everyone so they could check them out online. A good amount of shirts sold, but we didn’t run out — I was glad, because I wanted to keep one of each for myself. 

Maryland Deathfest was shortly over a few bands after Ghost. Everyone was starting to pack up as the concert-goers were leaving; people from the venues were breaking down things from the stage, and bands were hanging out at the bars surrounding the area since they had finished putting everything back earlier. I managed to pack up the remaining merch quickly and got it onto the bus hanging out behind the stage, then decided to join the guys for a drink. Simon had texted me where they were, so I made my way over there. “Holy shit, you guys! That was fuckin’ amazing!” I exclaimed, letting the words fall out of my grinning mouth. I hugged everyone, giving them words of praise; I got to Tobias last and we awkwardly smiled at each other, and I gave him a nod and said “You did great, Tobias. Honestly. I’m very proud of you guys.” Simon immediately came to my side and handed me a beer before he lifted his own and everyone followed suit. “To Ghost, to the present, to the future, to us... cheers!” We all responded and raised our glasses before taking a drink, the warmth of buzzing excitement surrounding us and leaving us hopeful for what was to come.


	3. III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, so... it’s literally taking me a month at a time to update this and I’m SO sorry! But here we go, Chapter Three! Also I just saw Ghost for the eighth time last week and ugh, absolutely amazing as always. It really inspired me and kicked my writers block in the ass! Thanks to Haz for betaing, as always. <3

The days following Maryland Deathfest were a whirlwind of calls, emails, and social media posts. Simon had been telling me all about it through texts, and even more so whenever I came over to his house. All of the band was there, including Tobias, sitting around the bonfire outside in Simon’s backyard, drinking beer while a beautiful flow of music came from the speakers inside the sunroom. The weather was absolutely perfect for a gathering like this, and everyone’s positive moods made it even better. I had arrived last out of everyone since I took a while to get ready, wine bottle in hand and my heart on guard. Tobias and I had actually been keeping in touch here and there, exchanging a few texts and the occasional “Like” on social media. He was telling me about the future of Ghost and things he had planned, paragraph after paragraph of text filling my phone’s screen; I had the urge to just pick up the phone and call him, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. My stomach was a knot of nervousness each time my thumb hovered shakily over the Call button. 

I went over to Simon to give him a quick hug, saying hello to the rest of the group afterwards. Tobias raised his drink at me with a half smile, which made a soft sigh leave my lips. Simon had heard my reaction, at least I thought so as I saw him looking at me with a questioning expression. I thought nothing of it and excused myself to go open my wine bottle that I was holding tight in my grip. I had to go inside Simon’s kitchen to find a bottle opener, which took me a good minute or two (he wasn’t the most organized). I carefully started wiggling the screw into the cork, then started to pull it out as I heard the door clicking open. I looked up and saw Tobias, walking in as he pushed back his hair and came to stand next to me. He was so close, I could smell his cologne, a smell I had missed more than anything. “Care to pour me a glass, Olivia?” He was the only person I didn’t mind calling me by my full name. 

“O-Of course not,” I stuttered out, giving him a quick glance which caused a smirk to go across his lips. I went to where my brother kept his glasses, pulling two delicate wine glasses out and poured a glass for each of us. Tobias took his in hand as I took mine, then we both raised our glasses before taking a good gulp. 

We stood there in silence for a moment which seemed to drag on forever until his voice cut through the nothingness like a knife. “I really want you to come with us on this tour. You did great at Deathfest, and... you always were great with all the Repugnant shows, and everything else...” Tobias trailed off and let out a chuckle, his eyes averting mine, and I could see his cheeks flare red slightly. “Anyways, I hope — I want you to come with us. You’re the only person we all trust and... just having you there would make me feel a little less on edge.” 

As clear as Tobias’ words were, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. For a good two years, Tobias and I wanted nothing to do with each other; there was some severe venom spat between us, staining our ten years of pure love and trust, burning the bridges that connected us. Now he wanted me to do an entire tour with Ghost, to be around him, to HELP him and his band? To help him “feel a little less on edge?” My heart was hammering so hard in my chest, I thought it was going to burst through my ribcage and right into Tobias’ hand. I wasn’t sure how to take all of this in, but the words fell out of my mouth before my brain could stop them.

“A-Absolutely, I... I’d love to do that.” I was mentally hitting myself in the head over and over the moment those words left me. Why did I agree? Well... I knew why, I just didn’t want to admit it. I still loved Tobias and I think everyone knew that except for the man himself. I craved that closeness with him, I wanted to support him and his musical endeavors, to be there for him in times of stress because I was the only one who knew how to make him feel better. He was the love of my life and always would be... which is exactly why I said yes without any hesitation (despite my internal conflict that happened for .2 seconds).

“Really? Fuckin’ awesome. Thank you, Olivia... I’m really glad you said yes.” Tobias’ eyes softened as did his excited expression after a moment. “I’m fucking ecstatic, actually. And the guys will be, too.” 

“Ha, I’m sure! Simon’s been bothering me about it nonstop. He might actually be a little mad that I said yes to you and not him.” I couldn’t help but giggle, and Tobias laughed along with me, nodding his head and then shrugging his shoulders.

“I suppose so, yeah. But I knew I could get you to say ‘yes’ over him,” Tobias said with a wink, nudging me gently with his elbow. I blushed a fierce amount of red and nudged him right back, taking a long drink of my wine before he spoke again. “Should we go tell them?”

“Yeah... yeah, I think so.” A smirk crossed my lips, downing the rest of my wine and setting the glass near the sink, Tobias doing the same before we walked out to tell the guys the news. This was going to be my life for a few months and the thought was... scary, but exciting all at once. There’s no one else I’d want to do this with than my closest friends, my brother, and my ex. I didn’t know what was going to happen, how Tobias and I were actually going to deal with each other in this setting — not like we weren’t used to it, but being out of our relationship was going to make it absolutely different. The mystery of what was to happen made my heart race as we walked towards our friends to deliver the good news, the fire still burning bright and smiling faces surrounding it.


End file.
